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a long story, Imogen. It goes back a long way. Im not sure you want to hear it." "Why wouldnt I? Im caught up in it somehow; dont you think I deserve to know?" Sims gaze dropped to the tabletop. We both watched his hands flex against the glass as the silence lengthened. "Not here," Sim said finally. "Lets go inside." I stood and followed him from the garden patio, watching warily as the long line of his broad shoulders stooped under some unseen weight. His normal, cocky demeanour disappeared, so by the time we were seated on the battered old sofa in his livingroom he looked like a shadow of his usual self. I felt inextricably like I was sitting beside a lost little boy. "When I was sixteen my Mum was diagnosed with breast cancer," Sim said quietly. The hurt in his voice was audible and made my throat ache. "It took her almost two years to die and watching her go through that... well, I wouldnt wish that sort of death on anyone, not my worst enemy." He paused to look up at me, his eyes haunted and wounded. I nodded my encouragement, afraid to say anything. "Im the oldest in my family and through it all I had to be the strong one, you know? The one who made sure the groceries still were bought, the house was cleaned, and my little brothers were dressed and off to school every morning. Dad was always working. Hes always been like that, a complete workaholic, but youd think he would have taken some time off when his wife got sick. But he didnt. I guess thats where it started between us. "Mum finally died a few days short of my eighteenth birthday. I dont know if losing someone is easier when you see it coming or not, but it was hard, harder than I would have thought. I was happy she wasnt suffering any more, but damn I missed her. I still do." I reached for Sims hand and held it. Words of comfort sprung automatically to my lips, but they all seemed so shallow and unnecessary; instead, I kept quiet and let Sim continue. "Not long afterwards Dad started bringing women home. When I think about it now I guess he was just lonely too, for all his problems he loved Mum a lot. But it seemed like every Saturday morning the boys and I would wake up to a different woman standing in the kitchen, wearing Dads bathrobe, and fussing over breakfast. "I dont really remember any of them, what they looked like, who they were. We made it into a big joke at the time, my brothers and I, but I always hated it. Then just before Christmas that year I was cleaning the den and came across a card in Dads desk. It was signed by some woman named Kathy and said Happy Second Anniversary..." Sim paused and the bitterness in his words made tears spring up behind my lashes. "Two years, hed been


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seeing some bitch for two years, which meant they were together while Mum was sick. He couldnt even wait for his wife to die, even when he knew she would. I was so mad I couldnt think, couldnt speak. But I couldnt keep quiet about it either, it was eating me up inside. So one night I had a few drinks and confronted him. Accusations were made and punches were thrown. I dont think Ive ever hated him as much as I did that night. "And then we both woke up the next morning and never spoke of it again. Life went on at our house just as it always had. I graduated high school later that year and went away to university, studied English Literature, played varsity soccer, met Julie." Sims laugh was cold. "Julie was perfect. Smart, funny, beautiful. Id never loved a girl the way I loved her. I was going to marry her, I was sure of it. You would have liked her, Imogen. Everyone did. Id wake up in the morning at just marvel at the fact that she was mine, you know?" He paused and looked at me for acknowledgement, but he wasnt really looking at me so much as through me. I nodded weakly through my unshed tears. "I brought her home for Thanksgiving my senior year so she could meet my brothers and my father. I had the ring in my luggage and every word of the proposal planned. Damn, I loved her." Sim stopped and for a moment I was scared he might not continue. The silence in the room was oppressive. I was afraid to breathe. Sims hand in my own was unmoving. "Two days, thats all it took him. Two days to steal the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I woke up at 3am and she wasnt in the room with me. I thought maybe shed gotten up to get a drink, or perhaps shed eaten too much at dinner and wasnt feeling well. I found her with him. Shed gotten out of my bed and gone straight to his. How do you forgive that, Imogen?" "I dont know," I admitted truthfully. "What did you do?" Sim pulled me into the crook of his arm and smoothed my hair down before settling his chin atop my head. "I got in the car, drove back to school that night, and never spoke to Julie again." I hated her. Hated a woman Id never met simply because she had the power to make Sim sound so hurt, so bitter. I tried to picture what hed been like before that time and even further back, before his mother fell ill: a younger, happier version of himself, free from the cynicism and cockiness that surrounded him like a fortress wall. "Funnily enough Dad knew, in his own way at least, that hed done something wrong. He bought a condo and moved out, and signed over the house to the four of us so that after